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CBAE Grant - Connections: Dating & Emotions Word File
CURRICULAR DESCRIPTION |
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Curriculum Title: Connections: Dating and Emotions |
Author:
Charlene R. Kamper |
Publisher:
The Dibble Institute for Marriage
Education
P.O. Box 7881
Berkeley, CA 94707-0881 |
Copyright Date:
1996 – First Printing
2004 – Second Printing Revised to include PREP® |
Target Audience: Grades 8 - 12 |
Brief summary of curriculum and agency’s past experience administering it:
The Connections: Dating and Emotions program was written to equip adolescents with knowledge, practical skills, and attitudes that promote healthy and meaningful life relationships. The program is intended for use with 13 to 17 year old adolescents who are getting ready to date, or who are already involved in the early stages of developing dating relationship behaviors. This course helps teens understand the challenges that arise in early relationships, and learn to build a strong foundation for later life. A variety of exercises teach teens how relationships develop, ways to communicate (using PREP® concepts), how to spot destructive patterns, how to deal with emotions, and other essential interpersonal skills.
The Instructor’s Manual, including activity cards, overhead transparency masters, PREP® communication tools is priced at $225. Student workbooks, sold in packs of 10, are $65. Prices good through 2007.
This curriculum was evaluated with experimental and control groups in 2003-2004. Based on results with over 500 students from schools around the country, this curriculum improved students’ ability to resist sexual pressure and decreased negative behaviors at home and at school. Connections: Dating and Emotions was also found to be an effective as a teen pregnancy prevention curriculum by increasing teens’ ability to resist sexual pressure. Additionally, the curriculum improves key attitudes that may lead to students participating in behaviors and activities that are protective against future marital distress, domestic violence and divorce. The curriculum also shows promise in reducing violence in relationships and negative behaviors at school and at home.(Scott Gardner, PhD, South Dakota State University. 2005) |
Modifications: In 2004, Connections: Dating and Emotions was revised to include PREP® principles. Evaluation studies of the Prevention and Relationship Enhancement Program (PREP®) are well known and show that couples can learn to improve communication and conflict management. Furthermore, in two studies, they experienced one-third to one-half as many breakups and only one-quarter the incidence of physical aggression as compared to couples in control groups. |
CONNECTIONS: DATING AND EMOTIONS
Overview:
There is little question that children who have close friendships in elementary school are more socially mature and therefore more likely to sustain healthy dating relationship as teens and adults (Bigelow). Research shows important benefits from dating in high school for teenagers. “It is a way of learning to know, understand and get along with many different types of people. One can learn cooperation, consideration, responsibility, but most of all maturity” (Morrison). High school can be a very trying time for teenagers who are establishing their identity, so having someone special to go out with can make it easier. “People are happier when they are in love; they tend to put more into everything they do – even adolescents” (Dean).
Another study found that “50% of teenagers crave intimacy” (Lampert). Social scientists and psychologists are finding that adolescents are beginning to date at earlier ages. “The average age for a person to begin dating is 13. In 1924 the average age was 16” (Fine). Serious adolescent relationships before either partner is emotionally mature can have detrimental effects for identity formation and even life and health. Adolescents who are dating because of peer pressure or a need to belong can experience significant disappointment. Teen pregnancy, STD’s, broken hearts, and depression, are common themes for those who work with teens. It is estimated that 15 percent of teen suicides are due to the breakup of an unhappy relationship. There are various theories and serious concerns over what might be the motivators for young pre-teens as early as 10 and 11 years old to report already having a boyfriend or girlfriend (Rice).
Informed by current research, lesson themes for the Connections: Dating and Emotions curriculum were also developed from data gathered from approximately 460 high school junior and senior level students over a two-year period. The students were asked to identify what relationship information they wished someone had talked with them about before reaching their later teens. They were also asked to specify what dating insights they would most likely share with a younger sibling who had not yet begun to date. The areas of relationship most often targeted as important to know about were then arranged topically and served as the framework for the contents of the curriculum.
The Connections: Dating and Emotions curriculum is divided into five sections that introduce a variety of skill areas: Section I – Getting Ready, Section II – Going Out, Section III - Difficulties Ahead, Section IV – Defining the Relationship, and Section V – Starting Over. Each of the sections has from three to five lessons that develop the overall theme of the content area. However, the lessons can be taught separately as a stand-alone topic of discussion or can be integrated as an infusion lesson with existing curriculum. If desired, the lessons can be taught in sequence as a unit over a three-week period.
Comparison/Consistency with Themes; Location of Thematic Elements within Connections: Dating and Emotions
Themes are in (parenthesis).
Abbreviations: IM – Instructor’s Manual SW – Student Workbook OH- Overheads
PART ONE: GETTING READY
Lesson 1: What’s It About…Things to Know
- (A) “Successful partnership requires two important elements: maturity and skills. These take time to develop” (pg 5 - IM).
- (A) Dating Expectations Checklist (pg -3 – SW)
Lesson 2: Am I Ready?
- (B1) “When developing important dating strategies teenagers should consider their future dreams and goals, finishing high school, marrying before having a child after the age of 20. (pg 10 - IM).
- (A) Are you mature enough for a dating relationship? Checklist (pgs 7-8 – SW).
Lesson 3: Ask, Accept, or Decline
- (G1) “Learning how to communicate thoughts and feelings effectively is an important part of developing successful interpersonal relationships” (pg 13 - IM).
- (G2) Activity - Hand out situation cards, role play the situation and present to class. (pgs 12 & back pocket - IM).
- (G2 “What Would You Do?” Worksheet (pgs 9-10 – SW).
PART TWO: GOING OUT
Lesson 4: What’s the Rush?
- (C2) It is estimated that adolescents are exposed to approximately 14,000 sexual messages each year. (Myers). Most often, the messages do not include accurate information and rarely do they address real problems of teen pregnancy, STD’s or AIDS. Neither do the sexual messages put in perspective the psychological toll on adolescents when relationships are unhealthy or abusive” (pg 19 - IM)
- (D2) “Relationship Myths: Physical intimacy means that someone truly cares about you.” (pg 13 – SW)
- (E1) “…it is not uncommon for individuals (adolescents) to feel pressured to move the relationship too quickly toward sexual intimacy. This puts undue emphasis on one aspect of closeness before the relationship has truly had time to develop naturally in other important areas” (pg 19 - IM)
- (E2) “…ill-equipped to deal with the depth of emotions associated with broken relationships, regret or quilt when sexual intimacy ends. 80% of sexually-experienced girls & 60% of sexually-experiences boys with they had waited.” (pg 19 - IM).
Lesson 5: How Relationships Grow
- (H) “It is important for adolescents to think about and set clear boundaries regarding their own dating behavior expectations before they enter into a relationship with another person. Establishing and maintaining personal standards can eliminate unwanted situations or feelings of regret at a later time”. (pg 20 - IM)
- (A) “Create an illustration by filling in the areas of the diagram marked Activities and Emotions that describe different levels of a dating relationship.” (pg – 15 SW).
Lesson 6: What Should I Say?
- (D1) Self-disclosure is the key to developing a meaningful relationship. (pg 25 - IM)
- (D2) “Developing an emotional bond with another person requires trust that develops over time.” (pg 27 - IM)
- (A) Johari’s Window – Work toward known to self and known to others. (pg 17 – SW).
PART THREE: DIFFICULTIES AHEAD
Lesson 7: Feeling Alone
- (H) “The best dating partner is one who is emotionally healthy and has a positive self-concept.” (pg 32 - IM).
- (G1) How to develop a support system. (pg 22 - SW).
Lesson 8: Problem People
- (D1) “The six problem people behaviors are…..” (pg 35 – IM)
- (D2) “Caution: Do not marry someone who behaves in one or more of these ways.” (pg 35 - IM).
- (D1) Descriptions and warnings of problem people. (pgs 23-25 – SW & OH 8-1-2)
Lesson 9: Toxic Talk
- (F2) “Overhead: Destructive Patterns – Criticism, Defensiveness, Contempt, Stonewalling. (OH – 9-1)
- (D1) Pinpoints the dangers of certain student behaviors. (pgs 27-29 SW)
Lesson 10: Dating Demons
- (E1) “People with low self-esteem often perceive themselves as less capable or important than those around them. This makes them feel vulnerable to outside pressures that may have less affect on someone with a strong self-esteem who feels competent and worthy of love. Low self-esteem can lead to the development of negative behaviors.” (pg 43 – IM).
- (B2) Journal and Overheads that helps students work through anger and jealousy. (pgs 31-33 SW and OH’s 10-1-4).
Lesson 11: What Abuse Looks Like
- (A) Emotional & Physical Abuse game cards (back pocket of IM)
- (B2) Activity: Select some television programs or movies that you have recently seen. Identify any abusive behaviors that were evident in the programs/movies. (pgs 36 – SW)
PART FOUR: DEFINING THE RELATIONSHIP
Lesson 12: It’s Not Working
- (H) “The developers of PREP® have identified four ways that partners often use to handle disagreements. These communication danger signs are 1) Escalation – … 2) Invalidation… 3).Negative Interpretations -… 4) Withdrawal- …” (pg 53 – IM).
- (E2) Activity that student identifies when a relationship was in trouble and works through how detrimental it would be if a sexual relation was involved. (pg. 42 – SW)
Lesson 13: When It’s Over
- (G2) “Take Control of the Situation:” (pg. 58 – IM)
- (E1) “Handle Your Emotions” (pg. 59 – IM)
- (H) Gives students skills in taking control of the situation. (pg. 45 – SW)
Lesson 14: Dealing With the Past
- (B2) “Key Concepts: Individuals learn from past experiences. New decisions can be made for future relationships.” (pg 61 – IM)
- (B2) Working through the feelings of a bad relationship. (pg. 47-49).
PART FIVE: STARTING OVER
Lesson 15: Moving Forward
- (E2) “Experience is a powerful teacher. Resiliency is the ability some people have to move forward in spite of negative past experiences.” (pg 68 – IM).
- (A) Realizing the importance that a person will have many relationships in a lifetime and why a sexual relation should not be involved until one makes a commitment to marriage. (pg. 51-53 – SW).
Lesson 16: Feeling Another’s Feelings
- (H) “Overhead: Empathy; Understanding another person’s feelings, situation and motives. (OH-16-1).
- (D1) Developing empathy for another person and making them a priority. (pgs 57-58 – SW).
Lesson 17: Staying Together
- (D1) “One element of commitment to another person is constraint. Simply put, constraint sets boundaries that should not be crossed. Promises to be faithful must be kept, legal parameters observed and choices made that uphold the wellbeing of all the people involved. The second element of commitment is personal dedication, which means the partners have to make choices daily that keep the relationship protected” (pg 80 - IM).
- (F2) “Good relationships don’t just happen: they are developed through skills and knowledge that are acquired over time.” (pg 59 – SW).
- (D) Overhead – “Staying Together” (OH – 17-2).
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