CBAE Grant - Love U2^®: Relationship Smarts Word File

Love U2^® Relationship Smarts

Lesson 1:  Maturity Issues, What I Value

1. (G1) 1. Maturity-Four Dimensions (pgs 2-6), Activity: Maturity Scale (pg 5)  (See  Maturity Poster found in pocket.) This activity encourages the development of personal character that will aid in maintaining commitment to abstinence. Mental maturity requires thinking about the consequences of our decisions before we make them. It means setting goals and delaying gratification to achieve goals; using your brain, not just impulses.”  Every decision has a consequence. Social maturity means thinking about your effect on others and standing up to peer pressure.
2. (G1) 4. What’s Attractive to Me? (pgs 8-9);  Activity: Writing a Personal Ad & Attractions (pgs 7-9);  3. Values Auction (pg 6-7) Encourages teens to consider and value personality and character, not just superficial characteristics of someone. With friendships and boy/girlfriends, you shouldn’t just wait to be “chosen,” but you should do the “choosing” as well. It helps to have an idea in mind of what’s important to you.”Helps teens clarify personal, relational and sexual values.

Lesson 2:  Crushes 101

(B1)(G1)Activities: 1. Ice-Breaker:  Under the Influence (pg 17); 2.  Getting Someone’s Attention (pg 17); 3. Should You Tell? (pg 18); 4. Starting Conversation (pg 19); 5. Going Out –What Should We Do?, Things to Do Contest (pg 21); Could This Be You? (pg 22, Resource 2a); Okay or No Way (pg 23, Resource, 2b)  Teaches that abstinence is the expected standard for school-age children through models of handling first crushes. It instructs through models of early puppy love that are not sexualized. Activities offer students concrete practice for the awkward experiences of first crushes in healthy and affirming ways and provide ideas for safe activities with early attraction.

Lesson 3:  Crushes 102

(E1)(B1)(G (G2) Activity: 1. Getting No for an Answer- Do and Don’ts (pg 26); Role Playing 2. Turning Someone Down (pgs 26-28)Offers age-appropriate skill-building practice that will increase confidence to refuse sex later. “Is it better to avoid hurting someone’s feelings by going out with them when you really don’t want to? Yes or no? Why?”

(G1 & G2) Activity: 3. Words of Wisdom on Rejection (pgs 30-31)This activity addresses some of the essential attitudes that will play a crucial role in asserting and maintaining sexual boundaries. “Begin by saying that no one wants to hurt another person’s feelings and it never feels good to find out someone you like doesn’t like you. But, point out that it’s much worse to send or receive mixed messages or false hopes. Stress that it is important to be honest, direct, and firm—even if it’s hard. Also, remember that it’s almost impossible to be a teenager and escape being rejected at some point in time or to not find it necessary to reject another person at other times.”

(G2) Activity: 4. Sticky Questions Discussion (pgs 31-32) This discussion questionnaire offers a wonderful opportunity to establish safe guidelines for dealing attractions and setting dating standards.

Lesson 4: Attractions and Infatuation

(B1)(E1)(D2 (G1) Activity: 4. Dating Pyramid (pgs 46-47); Activity: Build a Relationship (pgs 47-49) In this lesson, students will learn: that abstinence is the expected standard;  that abstinence can increase the freedom to fulfill age-appropriate, psycho-social, developmental stages; the stages of emotional intimacy and bonding;  the value of building and maintaining healthy relationships that are free from sexual involvement; and identifies examples of healthy sexual values within relationship development. Good relationships don’t just appear out of thin air. Relationships start and then they develop. Some relationships or marriages start on a bad or shaky foundation, especially with premature sexual involvement, and these often turn out to be a problem.

(D2) 3. The Nature of Infatuation; Infatuation vs. Love Match Activity (pgs 47-53)
This lesson addresses the difference between love and mere chemistry or sexual attraction.

Lesson 5: First Relationships – Joys and Doubts

(E1)(E2)(G2) 1. Video Episode (pg 58-59) This lesson, based on a video episode, provides a non-sexual model of a girl’s first relationship experience. The episode portrays all the mercurial ups and downs of infatuation—the excitement and energy as well as the doubts and disappointments. A number of sub-themes are included, ranging from jealousy and insecurity about how to act, to friends passing letters and spreading rumors. Students learn that Angela, the main character, despite all the pressures, remains a virgin throughout the series. They also begin to sense that Rayanne, who is not a virgin has unmet emotional needs.

Lesson 6:  Falling In Love

(D1)(G1) Activity: 1. Read Aloud: The Makeover of Meredith Kaplan (pg 62) (from The Art of Loving Well, pg 155) This lesson centers on a story of a teen relationship, models a healthy teen romance that does not include sex. Shows how the foundation and development of a healthy relationship include friendship, communication and common interests and values. This story addresses issues such as infatuation, friendship, appearances, and the budding romance of two teens.

(D2)(E1) 3. Dating Expectations (pgs 61-64) This discussion-questionnaire offers teens good practice in thinking ahead, clarifying expectations, standards and boundaries.  “Addresses dating someone older: It is a risk factor, especially for girls, to go with someone more than a year or two older.”

Lesson 7:  What’s Love? Three Sides of Mature Love

(D2) 2. Eros and Agape Activities (pg 66-69) Teaches the difference between love and sex through the use of visuals, word contests and collage creations.

(D1)(D2)(E1) 3. Three Sides of Love (pgs 71-72) Activities: Triangle of Love (pgs 72-73); Which Side of the Relationship Triangle?  (P73, Resource 7a) This lesson is meant to get teens thinking about the meaning of the word “love”. It teaches that healthy human sexuality involves enduring fidelity, love and commitment. Teaches harmful effects of relationships based purely on sexual passion. “Say to the group: You might wonder what love really looks like in a mature relationship like marriage.Point out that some psychologists who write and study about love describe it as having three sides or three ingredients. It’s not just one thing.”

(D1) 4. Interesting Research Findings (P75-76) “Next, guess what sex researchers have found to be connected with sexual satisfaction—both physical and emotional—with married couples…. Marital researchers find that a key predictor of marriage success or failure is how well you communicate and handle conflict.”
 
Lesson 8:  Principles of Smart Dating

(B1)(D2(E1)(G1)(G2))1. Dating Smarts (pgs 80-82); 2.  Seven Principles of Smart Dating (pgs 82-83) (See Poster: Seven Principles of Smart Dating found in binder’s back pocket.)This lessons offers extremely compelling guides and concrete practice through real life teen relationship scenarios for how to build and gauge healthy relationships. Reinforces the importance for basic respect for sexual values, having a bottom line, and refusing to be pressured or manipulated. “Pay attention to values---especially those about sex, drugs and alcohol.” “Have a bottom line—expect respect.” “Don’t play games, be pressured or manipulated.” “Sometimes people may be so desperate for a relationship or friendship that they delude themselves about who the other person really is. They’re in love with an idea of who they’d like this person to be, not who they really are. Sometimes people believe that they can “fix” their date or friend and that their “flaws” can evaporate under their influence.” “Likewise, don’t change who you are to get someone’s love.”

Lesson 9: Dating and Emotions: Is it Healthy?

(E1)(G1)(D2) 1. Signs of a Healthy Relationship (pg 98) (See Poster: How Healthy is This Relationship? found in binder’s back pocket.); Activity: 2. Three Questions: Sculpting (pg 99) This activity teaches that abstinence increases the freedom to enjoy emotional health; provides a clear framework for improving risk assessment and healthy decision-making; and, teaches the nature of emotional intimacy and bonding. The information applied to a sculpting activity offers a powerfully visual hands-on way to understand emotionally healthy relationships without sex.

Lesson 10: The Low-Risk Dating Strategy & How to “Really” Know Someone

(G3)(A)(B1) 4. Low Risk Strategy for Dating (pg 111) (See Poster: Low Risk Dating Strategy poster found in binder’s back pocket.)This lesson is truly the capstone. It puts all they have learned together in an easy to remember guide for how to develop healthy relationships that don’t include sex. Through examples, it dramatically illustrates the negative effects of adding sex to teen relationships. Through numerous hands-on activities, teens practice the essentials of what’s important to know and have in a healthy relationship.

Lesson 11: Relationship Decisions and Breaking Up

(D2)(E1) 3. Breaking Up – When and How? (pgs 136-139)Again, point out that most people go through several break-ups before finding someone with whom to spend their life. The teen and early adult years are a period of trying out people and relationships and learning more about your self. It takes a while to figure out who you really are and what your life’s direction should be.”

(A)(B1)(D2)(E1)(E2)  4. Dangerous Love (pgs 141-142, Resource 11a) “While some people may be in relationships that aren’t very healthy or satisfying, some people find themselves in downright abusive relationships.” 

Lesson 12: Soul Food: The Power of True Love and Enduring Commitment

(D1)(D2)(F1)(F2) 1. Panel Interview and Informal Discussion (pg 145-146)
This lesson is a panel interview of four married couples. It’s an opportunity for an intergenerational discussion of love, commitment, and marriage. Experience has shown that this exercise is as rewarding and interesting for the couples that participate as it is for the teens.
 
Lesson 13: Peer Pressure: More Subtle Than You Think 

Pgs (G1)(G2)(G3) 2.  Conformity/Peer Pressure Skill Building (147-153) This lesson teaches essential skills that will lay the foundation for sexual refusal skills. This lesson lays down a basic understanding of the subtle ways in which peer pressure works and offers a simple decision-making model. (Note: A full lesson in Love U2’s^® Sex Smarts teaches a state- of-the-art package of sexual refusal skills, and strategies for avoiding risky situations, mixed messages and faulty assumptions.)