Healthy Relationship News – February 2013








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Dan Slater, author of Love in the Time of Algorithms, talks to Renee Montagne about the history of computer matchmaking. He says online dating users get “lured in, in a way they never imagined.” Slater says falling in love with an Internet profile is actually fairly common.




Broken Circle – Children of Divorce is collaboration between photographer Karen Klein and young adults from families no longer together – either because of divorce or separation. The book consists of portraits of them and their personal narratives in response to questions about how their parents’ divorce or separation has affected their thinking and behavior in regard to relationships, commitment and their futures. The photographs are both straightforward and nuanced; the more you read in the words, the more you see in the portraits. They are interdependent texts, just as children are with their parents (and vice versa).  


Fifty percent of American children will experience the breakup of their parents’ marriage. Close to half of these children will also go through a parent’s second divorce. The majority of individuals raising children alone started out in committed relationships and never expected to be single parents.


Broken Circle is not pro or con divorce, but a poignant look at reality and consequences when parents’ focus on the children is not kept as a priority before, during and after the divorce or separation. Parents who divorce, separate, or stay together, “for the sake of the children” need only spend time with the Broken Circle participants to realize the implications are never simple.



New York Times

The End of Courtship?  


Instead of dinner-and-a-movie, which seems as obsolete as a rotary phone, they rendezvous over phone texts, Facebook posts, instant messages and other “non-dates” that are leaving a generation confused about how to land a boyfriend or girlfriend.  


Avoiding Cold Feet Down the Aisle


It’s not unusual to fret over big decisions, but suppressing lingering doubts can cause regret, and in the case of marriages, higher divorce rates among women who ignored cold feet.


Modern Lessons From Arranged Marriages


Whether arranged marriages produce loving, respectful relationships is a question almost as old as the institution of marriage itself. In an era when 40 to 50 percent of all American marriages end in divorce, some marriage experts are asking whether arranged marriages produce better relationships in the long run than do typical American marriages, in which people find each other on their own and romance is the foundation.  


While experts agree that few Americans are likely to agree to arranged marriages, there are positive lessons to be learned from them, they say.


That Loving Feeling Takes a Lot of Work


When people fall in love and decide to marry, the expectation is nearly always that love and marriage and the happiness they bring will last; as the vows say, till death do us part. Only the most cynical among us would think, walking down the aisle, that if things don’t work out, “We can always split.”  


While some divorces are clearly justified by physical or emotional abuse, intolerable infidelity, addictive behavior or irreconcilable incompatibility, experts say many severed marriages seem to have just withered and died from a lack of effort to keep the embers of love alive.



Wall Street Journal

The First Lady Can Help Kids By Encouraging Marriage 


The Wall Street Journal: January 14, 2013  



As Barack Obama approaches his second term, there has been much discussion about new goals the president should set for the next four years. But what about the first lady?  


Her “Let’s Move” campaign to encourage exercise has probably done some good for young people, but there is an even better message the first lady could promote-one likely to have an even longer-lasting and more significant effect on the lives of young people and on society in general: “Let’s Marry.”  



New York Post

Finally! City to Tackle Unwed-Mom Epidemic



January 13, 2013  


It’s my favorite single-question pop quiz: What is the out-of-wedlock birth rate in The Bronx?  


The answers I get from New Yorkers who should know better usually top out at 50 percent. Only occasionally does anyone come close to the correct answer: 70 percent.


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Mike's CrushNEW! Mike’s Crush – for teens with Autism and special needs 


Teens with autism and intellectual disabilities want friends and romantic connections, just like their peers – but face extra challenges in developing these relationships. Many lack basic social skills and have difficulty understanding social signals.  


The innovative Mike’s Crush curriculum/video program, from The Dibble Institute, teaches these young people how to establish healthy and safe relationships with their peers, including friendship and romantic relationships.



You Gotta Do Something: Teen Video Competition



 “You Gotta Do Something” Teen Video Competition





That’s Not Cool is proud to partner with Healthy Teen Network and Scenarios USA to present a teen video competition in observance of National Teen Dating Violence Prevention and Awareness Month (February 2013).  


“You Gotta Do Something” invites educators nationwide to engage the teens in your work to script, produce, and film the next scene in the Scenarios USA REAL DEAL film “Bitter Memories” about teen dating violence. The contest officially launches on Feb 1st through a special YouTube page.



Vulnerable Youth and Money 


Download our free tip sheet! Evan Gimpel, a counselor at Trapper Creek Job Corps in MT, shares his expertise in how to use Money Habitudes cards with vulnerable youth. This tip sheet is excerpted from Bringing Money into the Conversation.


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Teen Relationships: Dating, Sexting, Cyberbullying & More   



All relationships have their ups and downs, but if a relationship has more downs than ups, or you find yourself dealing with problems like divorce, sexting or cyberbullying, it can feel pretty overwhelming. Safeteens has guides for understanding many common teen relationship problems, tips for handling difficult situations, and resources to get more help.  


Safe Teens is sponsored by the PA Department of Health.



  Teens Health

Am I in a Healthy Relationship?


Sometimes it feels impossible to find someone who’s right for you – and who thinks you’re right for him or her! So when it happens, you’re usually so psyched that you don’t even mind when your little brother finishes all the ice cream or your English teacher chooses the one day when you didn’t do your reading to give you a pop quiz.


It’s totally normal to look at the world through rose-colored glasses in the early stages of a relationship. But for some people, those rose-colored glasses turn into blinders that keep them from seeing that a relationship isn’t as healthy as it should be.


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Dibble Webinars   


Coming in February!

 Can’t Buy Me Love: How to be Rich in Life and Love  



Learn how understanding the emotional side of money can help young people make wiser choices in life, love and money management.  


Put two people in the same situation where they need to make a money-related choice and they’re likely to react to the situation differently. Our past experiences, values, and messages all influence our reactions. We know this, but we may not realize how much these influences affect our daily financial and social behavior. Learn how the brain works, the six most common influences subconsciously influencing our choices and a tool (Money Habitudes®) that can make it fun and easy for teens and young adults to discover what drives their money choices so they can take control and make wise choices.  


Guest presenter: Syble Solomon, creator of “Money Habitudes”.  

When: Wednesday, Feburary 13, 2013  

4:00 pm Eastern/1:00 pm Pacific 

Duration: 60 minutes  

Who: financial literacy professionals, economic teachers, youth agency program directors, foster youth caseworkers, high school health and FACS teachers, and grantees in pregnancy prevention, fatherhood.  

Cost: Free!    


  Register for February 





Love Is In The Air! Preparing Students for Safe Proms and Spring Breaks


Join us for a Webinar on March 13


 Register Now 



We often teach young people how to protect their bodies, but we seldom help them protect their hearts.  


Young people can learn low-risk dating strategies that help them avoid the pitfalls of spontaneous romantic encounters.  


In this webinar you will learn:  

  • The relationship skills that encourage self-regulation and maturity,  
  •  Strategies for exiting precarious situations, and  
  • Approaches others are using to help young people be more cautious and protect their hearts.    

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Domestic Violence Shelters Funded

The Mary Kay Foundation – Shelter Grant Program 


The Mary Kay Foundation is committed to ending the epidemic of domestic violence by providing grants to women’s shelters throughout the United States. Applying organizations must offer immediate overnight housing to women and children affected by domestic violence. The grants provided by the Foundation may be used for the operating budget of the shelter, with the exception of staff travel. Applications will be accepted from January 15 to April 30, 2013. Visit the Foundation’s website to review the funding guidelines and download the application forms.  


(Editor’s Note: Teaching healthy relationship skills, drawing the line of respect, and exiting relationships safely are educational programs often in a shelter’s operating budget. The application asks about innovative programs and teaching survivors how to get smart about their love lives would certainly be one!)



Childrens Trust Fund of Oregon

Grants Enhance Child Abuse Prevention Programs in Oregon  


Children’s Trust Fund of Oregon


The Children’s Trust Fund of Oregon provides grants to abuse prevention programs throughout the state of Oregon that provide the tools parents need to become effective caretakers of and role models for their children.  


The Fund’s priority areas include parent support and education programs, including those targeting teen parents and fathers; at-risk families, including those with substance abuse problems, domestic violence problems, or children with disabilities; underserved minority and ethnic populations; and underserved geographic areas.  


Preference is given to programs that help children by targeting increased caretaker skills and child development knowledge rather than direct services which target children as clients. Brief letters of intent must be submitted by February 15, 2013; applications are due April 1, 2013.  


(Ed. Note: Research from University of Puget Sound found that when a teen couple’s relationship skills improve, so do their parenting practices. Love Notes provides both relationship skills as well as the child development instruction.)  


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Where is Dibble now?

Come see us!


February 6-8, 2013
12th Annual Partners in Prevention Training Conference
Austin, Texas
Workshop: The Last Puzzle Piece: Preventing Child Abuse and Family Violence Through Teen Relationship Education
Presenter: Janet Pozmantier


February 20-22, 2013
22nd Annual Texas School of Social Workers Conference
Austin, Texas
Workshop: What’s Love Got to Do With It? Healthy Relationship Education for the Hook-Up Generation
Presenter: Janet Pozmantier


February 25-March 1, 2013
National Fathers and Families Coalition Conference
San Francisco, CA
Workshop: Parenting Through the Eyes of a Child
Presenter: Kay Reed and Dixie Zittlow


March 7-8, 2013

Wichita, KS

Workshop: How to Prepare, Enrich and Inspire Teens!

Presenter: Joyce Huff


March 20-23, 2013

San Diego, CA
Workshop:  What’s Love Got to do With It?
Presenter:  Joyce Huff


April 12, 2013

Grand Isle, NE

Workshop: What Is Your Money Habitude?
Presenter: Joyce Huff


April 24-26, 2013

Denton, TX
Workshop:  The Missing Link: Preventing Child Abuse by Teaching Teens Relationship Skills
Presenter:  Janet Pozmantier

June 26-29, 2013

American Association of Family and Consumer Sciences National Conference

Houston, Texas

Workshop: What’s in Your Wallet? Using EQ Strategies to Build Financial Resiliency

Presenter: Janet Pozmantier



Would you like a Dibble Outreach Educator at your conference? Email Irene Varley, Director of Education, at to find out how.


Please let us know if you are having an open to the public event featuring Dibble curricula. We would be happy to help you publicize it.


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You Tube

 Dibble YouTube favorites 


Check out our favorite videos for teens, instructors, and parents!


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